Home

"There is a magic in that little world, home; it is a mystic circle that surrounds comforts and virtues never known beyond its hallowed limits”

~Robert Southey

Every year we idly chat about moving back to South County. The area in which we lived our adult youth also know as the college & post college years. We have mostly fond memories of our lives there both together and separate and it always feels good to go back and visit the old haunts with our friends from that time (who are still our friends at this time!). Well, this year topic of moving has risen once again and I think that we may actually take the conversation to the next level. We might actually see if moving will be possible financially as we are both ready emotionally.

Living where we are now has been quite fine. We are in our home town surrounded by familiar people and sites. Boring, really. I have always felt that this town is a place of utility. It has what I need day to day such as restaurants, general stores, gas stations, a very few interesting shops and close friends nearby. However the energy of this town is dull, droll almost non-existent. Things happen because they are supposed to and that is that. The energy that came from living in both South County and metro Boston is what I long for, what I crave. I guess I enjoy the ebb and flow of the ever changing population of the college kids and the out-of-towners. They provide inspiration for creativity within the shops as well as in the restaurant and bar scene. Of course there are the staple businesses which cannot change or the locals will rise against, but the juxtaposition of old and new is refreshing. Unlike here, stale, unchanging.

~

So I seek out the feeling of home. A community, a new adventure. I went looking at houses today. Really I searched the Internet, wrote down some addresses and drove past the properties to see what property size really looks like (what the hell is .32 acre anyway?) and if the photos on the web reflect real life. So drive I did and I am happy that I did! In my search I am beginning to realize what is actually important in a home to me.

At first, my base criteria looked like this:

1. At least 1100 square feet, don't care about land size
2. Does it have a fence to contain the dogs?
3. Central air?
4. New: roof, siding, boiler, burner?
5. NO LESS THAN 1.5 bathrooms
6. No less than 2 bedrooms
7. How is it heated?
8. I'm sure I should know something about the foundation
9. Reasonable price

What I learned today is that the above is very important but I also need:

1. To NOT be on a main road, what if the dogs get out of the yard?
2. To be near some sort of general store or pharmacy, just in case
3. To be in a neighborhood not just in a house plopped somewhere
4. To have privacy
5. To be able to join the hustle & bustle but also to escape
6. To not be ON TOP OF the neighbors
7. To have a house with some character, cookie-cutter doesn't work for me
8. To continue having friends near by
9. To have some land in which to spend time outside
10. To feel home again

What do you think? Am I asking for too much?

The "Friend" Relationship

"Too late we learn, a man must hold his friend unjudged, accepted, trusted to the end."

- John Boyle O'Reilly

I am an observer and a listener in this world. That is the easy part. I can also be judgemental of all who I come into contact with. That is tough part. I am by no means so perfect that I can navigate my life flawlessly so what gives me the right to be judgemental about others life decisions? Maybe "right" is the wrong word. When hearing stories of drama around me I know that I apply the "facts" of the situation to my own set of beliefs, ethics, and organization of my own conduct. I suppose we all do that in order to make sense of our world.

Currently I have friends who I hope are making the right decisions for themselves. By "right" I am referring to decisions that will have a positive outcome for them in their futures. As it stands now, I don't agree with the way they are making decisions and can't foresee how these decision will yield the best outcome for them. I remain silent with my thoughts when in the company of these friends. I listen to their stories and worry. Again, who am I to judge? Should I break my silence and tell them what my thoughts are on the subject? I realize that if we are truly friends I should be able to say what my mind screams & they will listen without offense. Would that be possible? -OR- Do I continue to listen and trust they are making the right decisions for themselves & would not benefit from my input?

I will state this here & now. If any of my friends find themselves in my shoes now regarding decisions that I am making. Feel free to speak your minds. Even if it upsets me at the time, I know you care and our friendship will become stronger because of it.

Happy 2009!

New Year's Eve to me is a time to spend with friends both new and seasoned. In this photo are 2 friends from high school, 2 friends from college and 2 friends whom I met in my life as an "adult". The man who took the pic has popped in and out of my world in all 3 stages. Yes, we had a great time at a bar called, Blake's Tavern in Providence before we headed over to Lupo's Heartbreak Hotel to see The Agents and The Mighty Mighty Bosstones. Yes, we were responsible adults!

The show was amazingly fun and the company was even better! Thank you to all who are my friends for sharing the evening with me. To those who weren't present, I'm sure I'll see you soon to share a pint and a laugh.