I was at a bar last night in the town I was born, raised and educated through high school in. As I was chatting to a college friend of mine a man walked up to me with a grin and said, "Hey, remember me?". I replied, "Yes, Kevin, how are you?". This man was on the Boy's & Girl's club swim team with me in the early 80's, I have seen him once since then. We chatted pleasantly for a few minutes about towns we live in, where we work and his new marriage. Very nice, surface conversation, but what do 2 people talk about who have never had any experiences together in their adult lives? At the natural conversations end, he excused himself to go back to his table then later left without saying goodbye. All very natural.
Later, another group of people arrived. One whom I know very well and the others I "knew" in high school. Of course, by "knew" I really mean I can pick them out of a yearbook and never had one conversation with any of them. I know their names, barely recognize their faces and have no desire to strike up a relationship at this point in my life with them. They are all facebook "friends" with the person I know really well. Ah, the facebook revolution. facebook, being a social networking site, does a nice job of making those that want to be found, easy to be found. And, since you don't have to chat face-to-face or have any meaningful relations with your "friends" in any way but can still joke with them or comment on their everday lives or thoughts, it lulls you into a sense of "friendship". What the heck happens when you actually have to meet these people in everyday life?! Awkwardness strikes, that's what!
I kept being asked to go join the facebook "friends"/distant high school acquaintances at their table by the person that I know. Remember that I am not a person that needs to say "hi" to everyone I have ever met nor do I have a desire to reacquaint myself with people from my past that I didn't even know. So I laughed off the invitation and stated that I wasn't going over there as those people don't even know who I am and I'm fine with that. Unfortunately for me, one gentleman in the group is a people person and came right over. The funny part is that he did not recognize me and shook hands inquisitively with 2 of my friends before finding me. We then participated in uneasy, trite conversation with me trying to be as welcoming and jovial as possible. Unlike the first situation with Kevin, when the natural pause for conversation's end happened he didn't know how to leave or that he should. Good thing that I had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom, thus leaving him with strangers and causing him to go back to his table.
Why do people have such strong ties to people from their past who are strangers? I can understand a strong bond over an emotional interaction (i.e. good times, pain, loss, strong friendship that has faded) but to force an interaction with a person of whom you only know their name doesn't seem to make sense to me. Especially when you're not joining together on purpose at a common place for a common purpose per se. Maybe I'm too black & white, maybe I am too standoff-ish.
